I don't know why I feel compelled to write this , but I do. Many of you know that I announced an extended break from blogging last week , and because I have a handful of loyal readers that I think deserve to know why I chose to do so , I'm here in front of the computer when I'd rather be anywhere else.
It's pretty normal for blogs and bloggers to go through an existential crisis at some point in their life. The writers question their worth , question the point of it all , and then either give up or move forward. That's not really what's going on here , but I will admit it plays a small part and I'll get into that later. Let me just say for the record : I will be back , probably sooner rather than later. Having said that , let me go into a little bit of "Why?"
Before I announced my unofficial semi retirement , or whatever you want to call it , I had been in a slump. Winter hasn't been kind to me this year , so fishing was reduced to a fond memory of warmer days. Writing a fishing blog while not fishing is a hair pulling endeavor. It's enough to make me feel like a fraud , especially when so many others are out there that catch fish almost daily and post pictures and tidbits to their blogs to prove it. I'd like to think that I've had a few moments that transcended the need for me to prove myself with hero shots of big fish , but the worth of one's own writing is often inflated by our egos.
Getting back to the subject of my blogging midlife crisis : I have another blog that I started maybe 6 months after this one. I've had a reality check lately in that Surf Fishing for Beginners has taken off to an extent I never believed possible. It is mainly reposts from this blog , but it is trimmed down to include only the ones dealing with learning how to surf fish. It's been a real kick in the teeth to see it get more traffic than my main blog. And by more , I mean nearly three times as much , and this blog isn't a slouch. It's made me question the whole blogging thing on a deep level.
Anyone who knows me in real life or is friends with me on Facebook will know that I lost someone very close to me at the beginning of February. It's been harder than I ever thought possible and it still stings. Making my peace with that has taken up a lot of my time , and in a way it has left me emotionally exhausted. It's a tough situation to be in for someone who has a wife and kids and the other responsibilities of daily life, It's made blogging an afterthought over the last month.
On a lighter note , I've quit smoking. Back when I was more prolific as a blogger , I was very much a cliche. I banged away at my Underwood typewriter with a fedora on , a cigarette hanging out of the corner of my mouth , and a tumbler of whiskey close at hand. Well , maybe not so much that , but coffee and a cigarette were something that I was used to having as I wrote blog posts. It's a filthy habit and I'm glad to have quit , but it's still at the back of my mind so it's been easier to pull back from things that I used to do while smoking and/or things that made me want to smoke.
Bottom line : after a little over two years and over 200 blog posts , it's time for me to take a break. Not necessarily a long break , but a break to decide what comes next , and definitely a break while I get back to what I love , and the reason this blog came to be : fishing.
Have a great weekend!