Old Geezer #1 "Hey buddy , we lost our net , can we borrow yours for a minute. Promise to bring it right back"
Me: " How in the hell did you manage to 'lose' your net?"
Old Geezer #2 " Well, it's kind of a funny story. See , we saw some shad jumping and went to throw it , but he didn't have the loop around his wrist and the water was a lot deeper than it looked. It's up there at the bottom of the lake somewhere.
OG #1 "Yeah , so could you let us use your net for just a minute? Bring it right back , I promise."
Me " No. I'm pretty attached to my net , since I've had it so long and all. "
OG #2 " Well, so , you won't let us use it at all?"
Me : "Nope. I kinda like it."
OG #1 " Like what?"
Me " My net."
OG #2 " I just don't know what we are gonna do. We came all the way down here to fish and now we've done lost our net."
Me "..... yep"
OG #1 " Hey , could you like maybe give us some bait?"
Me " I guess. Hey Lar , give em what's in the bucket..."
And so began our day with the clackers. The first bucket of bait was day old baby shad that had been in the bait cooler overnight , still alive , but stressed and turning paler by the minute. Probably a little salty too , since we always dose them heavily with rock salt for an overnight stay in the cooler. That $10.00 bottle of Shad Keeper? Mainly rock salt. I prefer a product by Morton intended for use in ice cream makers. No iodine in that stuff , so it will hold shad , and a big box of it goes for $1.99.
I didn't really notice it at first , but my second encounter with the clackers gave them their name. I had already caught more bait for us , but the clackers soon blasted through theirs and came back for more. It was a rare day when I was feeling charitable , the fishing was slow , but I had my preferred hand size Gizzard Shad so all was right with the world since I knew that I could exchange them for a Striper eventually.
Me " OK guys , just follow me up into this cove here. I'll get you a fresh net of bait and we'll all go fish."
OG 1&2 " Thankssomuchdon'tknowwhatwe'dhavedonewithoutyou..!!"
Their excitement and jumbled words should have given me a clue as to their impatience , but as I said , I was feeling charitable. I was about to be clacked , good and proper.
As I eased into the cove almost silently , the clacking started. It goes a little something like this "CLACKITYCLACKITYCLICKCLICKTHRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPCLACKCLACK" and to this day , it would probably cause a twitch in my eye and make me tense with anger.
See , these guys were in some sort of a hybrid johnboat canoe , with a narrow body , a curved bow , and a flat stern. I've never seen another like it on SML , since it was only about 12 feet long and certainly not made for being on a body of water that size. They had some type of OceanMaster5000 trolling motor , or some such , which was vastly overpowered for the hull , so every time the geezers twisted the throttle it clacked against the transom (if you can call it that on a johncanoe). Being so overpowered , it would eventually cavitate , making a loud THRRRPPPPP every time , and resulting in the geezer at the helm backing down a notch , back to clacking. It was magnificent , at least until they started circling my boat in an ever tightening arc , waiting on me to catch bait while marveling at my technique. I would get close to a school of shad , only to have the geezers clack their way through the middle right as I was about to throw.
OG #2 "See how he's got that loop around his arm? That's what we should have done. I never thought you could catch shad back in these shallow coves..."
They obviously couldn't see what I was seeing , at least I hope not. I can spot a single shad flicking 150 yards away and drive over to him , throw the net on him and have bait. Apparently , the geezers could barely see them in their bucket , so the clacking continued.
After about 15 minutes of nonstop clackery , I had had about enough of their bullshit.
Me: "Hey guys , no shad here , so I'm gonna head up river to where I caught mine earlier"
OG 1&2 : "OK , we'll follow you."
ME " No. That's not necessary.. I'll just fire up my big motor and go. Be right back."
OG 1&2 " OK , meet you up there"
I fired up the outboard , and while I normally ease into the throttle , I was so pissed off after a thorough clacking that I buried it , pulling a hole shot worthy of any bass boat on the lake. I ran about a mile up the lake , far out of reach for the clackers. Pulling into the cove , I saw a small school and threw the net. As I brought it into the boat , it was a huge mess of sticks , leaves , acorns , a couple of thumb sized bluegills , and about 200 peanut shad. Dumping it all into a bucket , I jumped back into the drivers seat and tore back down the lake , only to see the clackers clacking their way upstream towards me.
At least half of the shad were dead or dying from stress in the bucket as I handed it across and they dumped it in their bucket. They were quite happy , but I assume they probably said a few unkind words after they realized the mess I handed them. Maybe not. All I know is that I was glad to be rid of them as they clacked their way off into infamy.