I went trout fishing earlier today. Using my 3 wt. Reddington Leaf Snatcher with a weight forward floating line , a tapered leader, a 7x tippet and a size 18 Griffin's Gnat. Tossing gently into a small pocket of water , I had a subtle , almost imperceptible take after a short drift through a fishy looking stretch just below the pocket. Upon setting the hook , my line drew taught , my drag started to scream , and I felt a heavy , almost dead weight as my heart inched into my throat at the prospect of breaking my months long fishless streak....
I knew I was in trouble when the trout broke water and I saw that his dorsal fin was four feet tall and twice again as long. As the epic battle raged on, I realized I was about 400 yards into the backing on my Orvis Mach 5 reel, which was, coincidentally, the speed at which the trout was now heading downstream , hell bent for leather. As he broke the sound barrier, the grease and 3-in-1 oil in my reel caught fire, burning my hand as I desperately tried to turn him , using my palm as a brake on the spool's lip , the drag washers having long since melted during the fish's initial run.
All of a sudden, what line I had left began to sizzle and pop from the heat of the fire and started to turn a crisp brown color , usually only seen before it turns black and brittle. Thinking fast , I dove headfirst into a deep spot midstream , extinguishing the fire , but also causing my line to go slack. My heart sank like a well placed drum rig off the end of a pier.
Emerging from the pool bruised and battered , I began wandering downstream in defeat , contemplating what to do next. As my mind tossed around ideas about leaders , flies , and flameproof grease , I was shocked to see the battle weary trout beached atop a beaver damn....
Surrounded as he was by four grizzly bears, two coyotes, and a scrappy looking cat, I nearly gave up hope of claiming my trophy. Until I remembered the hemostats and surgical scissors I "borrowed" the last time Doctor Brown had to pull a hook from my shoulder after a bad back cast. I waded into the fray armed to the gills with my filet knife clenched between my teeth like I'd seen in the movies ,and a stolen surgical instrument in each hand.
Grizzlies make a sound not unlike an underwater air raid siren when you have the frenulum of their upper lip clamped in a pair of hemostats , and it's easier than you might think to dispose of a pair of coyotes with a sharp pair of scissors. There may indeed be more than one way to skin a cat , but trust me when I say it's no fun to practice on one that runs in a pack with coyotes and grizzly bears.
It must have been the smell of blood from the nasty cuts on my tongue and lips , caused by the all but forgotten filet knife. Or it could have been my yodel-like screams as I wrestled with the fourth and final bear. All I know is that it is a bad idea , quite a bad idea indeed , to disturb two usually peaceful dam builders that don't like to be surprised in the presence of their offspring , because the last thing I remember was the sound of a beaver whistling through his teeth and two angry slaps of a too-wide tail on top of the water....I'm thinking I'll stick to hamburger until the surf fishing picks back up!
Cabin fever is in full swing hereabouts! Have a great week , my friends!
Good story. Thanks for putting a little humor in my afternoon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark, for the kind words and constant support. It is greatly appreciated!
DeleteGreat post, Josh. Thanks for the humor. All of us really need something like this too appreciate Cabin Fever. I will pas this little jewel along if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteAh, Mel, you are most welcome! Thank YOU for the kind words and continued support! I wish I could write humor, or anything for that matter, on command. If I try to force it, it turns out awkward and I'm never happy with it. If I have a fever dream and an idea gets into my head, it will force it's way out into the world like last night's bad Mexican food. I'm trying to write more to get a little control over these things, but it's never easy.
DeleteThanks again, old friend!
Excuse me while I wipe the tears from my eyes. Thanks for this Josh.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Howard! I'm a big fan of yours, so I really appreciate you taking time to comment!
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